Jemma is ONE (and Mara was 3 several months ago)!

What a year it has been - it's hard to believe Jemma has passed the one year mark of her birth. Although I knew my life would be changing with the addition of a second baby, I really had NO IDEA how different the world would look one year on from her birth. Although I know some things have changed permanently (ie: our psyche and our awareness of pandemics!), I still hope she'll be able to experience a life in the future that looks more like our world did before she was born.

And get to meet her grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins IN PERSON someday!

Jem is... so fun! She's spunky, adventurous, clever, enthusiastic, brave, determined, vocal, and focused.  We adore her.  Sometimes I have NO IDEA how best to relate to her, but I've found dance parties to significantly improve our relational-rapport (seriously. The kid receives love via dance parties... so dance parties happen a lot around here!).

Enjoy some picts of our girl!

And, of course, Mara is growing up and becoming SUCH a capable little girl! Here's some new(ish) pictures of her:

Gratitude Post (My cure for the grumpies)

I believe I can always find something to be thankful for.

Last night (or, rather, this morning), at 1am, I realized Jem had thrown up our dinner of pasta carbonara all over her crib. It was caked in her hair, all over her jammies, and smeared over her sheets. I was up late editing wedding photos in the quiet house after the girls had gone to bed. I was doing my just-before-I-crawl-into-bed check on them and I smelled something funny in their room...

So, at 1am, Gabe took over with a crying baby (who woke up as I was looking closer at the mysterious patterns on her crib sheet) while I stripped the bed and got a wash load started.

How Mara managed to stay asleep through all of the activity next to her, I'm not sure, but it wasn't until AFTER Jem had been changed and fed, the crib sheets changed and remade, and Jem tucked back into her crib that Mara woke up.

I think it was about 3am before we all got back to sleep.

So, today we've been a bit fuzzy. Pre-kids, I would have probably drawn the curtains, turned off my alarm, and then slept until my body woke up, but with kids, I try to keep them on a bit of a schedule so nap times and bed times can unfold normally today, which means not as much sleep as I would have liked.

Gabe had a commitment this morning, so the girls and I were making do, and for some reason, Jem didn't take her normal 90 minute to 2 hour morning nap, instead she woke after 50 minutes and wouldn't go back to sleep... maybe she's still feeling funny?  But to say that the atmosphere of the house was punctuated by tired sounds would be very accurate (sighing on my part, crying on theirs).

I was having a bit of a bad attitude about a number of things (bummed Gabe wasn't around to endure the crying children with me, bummed I was so tired, bummed Jem hadn't slept, bummed we don't live near either of our parents or siblings to try to schedule a little childcare break, etc), but I started hanging up the two loads of laundry that I'd gotten washed, and I had this moment of clarity:

I am really thankful for our front porch.

I think sometimes gratitude is my best weapon against the grumpies, because as I thought about how much of a blessing our front porch is, I realized I wasn't nearly as peeved at the world!

We live in a small space - our apartment is about 450 square feet (about 40 meters square). It's technically a one-bedroom Granny flat/mother-in-law apartment, attached via the garage to our landlords. We also have a utility room/storage room built into the garage that has turned our one bedroom into a one bedroom plus enough space for the girls to have their own tiny sleeping zone in half of the utility room.

I don't mind the size of the space - I like being able to keep it clean pretty easily, I like that it forces us to prioritize what we have, I like that it provides a challenge to constantly keep improving, refining, and reorganizing our space. But I also so appreciate that we have a covered front porch at the entrance to our house.

Our front porch adds about another 100 square feet to our space - it is where we leave our shoes if they are wet and dirty, Gabe parks his scooter, the girls both have swings, we have a couple chairs to sit on, there are concrete pavers to do chalk art on, AND (by far the best part, in my opinion) it has a laundry line that means our clothes can dry under cover.

As I was thinking about the front porch and all its blessings, I started thinking about how much I enjoy doing laundry in the summer.

We don't have a drier, so we hang-dry our laundry all year long. In the winter, the covered porch is HUGELY helpful to keep the laundry process going, but it can still take a few days to get clothes and cloth diapers dry (sometimes needing to be brought into the house and hung up on a rack in our living room over night or for 24 hours to finish getting dry). But in the summer, man, I can hang up Jemima's favorite blanket - the one she struggles to sleep without - at 10am, and it's dry and ready to be back to work for her afternoon nap.

That got me thinking about how much I appreciate our yard - our landlords have a beautiful, big park-like yard, and it is so nice that the wind can blow through the front porch and dry our clothes, and the sun can shine on our front porch and expedite the process.

And THAT got me thinking about how wonderful our landlords are, and how they interpret Kiwi-isms for us, drop off excess food, let us glean plums and lemons and oranges from their trees in the back yard, let me plant a garden, let Samara come chat with them when they come home from work, let Gabe utilize tools from their shed for projects, etc...

And you know what? I'm not grumpy anymore. It's hard to be grumpy when you're brain is wandering down the path of "Wow, I have so much for which to be grateful!"

Birthday Weekend Adventures (Napier)

For about a year I've wanted to go check out Napier in Hawke's Bay.  I thought it would be fun to visit that region for my birthday.... last year.  But I was 7 months pregnant and really didn't want to sit in a car for 4 hours!  So we put it off for a year.

We decided to do a combined birthdays/anniversary event and booked an AirBnB for a couple nights as a summertime family getaway over my birthday weekend.

We stayed in a no-nonsense, family-friendly farm cottage outside of town (but there was a park with a swingset and flying fox 3 minutes drive down the road, so THAT was cool!). There were sheep in the paddock, an orchard full of fruit, a cement pad for balance-bike practice, a gate to open and close at the end of the driveway, and a big front porch for watching the golden grass blow in the wind.

We had a great weekend - bike riding among vineyards, hiking to a towering waterfall, exploring the "Art Deco" city of Napier, attending a vibrant Farmer's Market, and even some on-the-road fun like watching a helicopter put out a forest fire on the way and stopping for a dip in Lake Taupo on the way home.

Summer time fun

I'm trying to spend a little less time and mental energy on social media platforms, so here are a few little snapshots of some of our daily-life moments:

There is a lot of enthusiastic displays of affection between these two - full body hugging (from Mara), head slapping (from Jemma) - and LOADS of giggles and joint screeching.  We really love having these two little people live in our home with us!

Tomatoes reach a high price of $13.00/kg in August, so I am rejoicing in the abundance of recipes I can make with fresh tomatoes while they are in season!  I also have six tomato plants that are starting to produce tomatoes, so I might need to figure out a way to preserve them... canning pasta sauce or dehydrating them or something!

On Christmas Eve we reached the 9 month mark of Jem being OUT of the womb! It's always surreal to think about how much life has changed since the "due date" photo on the left.

Mara and her Abba are always coming up with fun, unique ways to play together.  Sometimes I'm not sure which is enjoying an activity more - it's such a blessing to see the people I love the most loving each other so well!

 

Stone Fruit Season Returns

 

It is stone-fruit season again!!

Jemma is loving plums, Mara is crazy about avocados, and I don't think I'd ever get tired of the flavour of fresh nectarines! Summertime at its finest ;)

Heads or Tails: A fun story of hearing God and detail management

Last week we took a call from a missionary family working on building their support team that asked us if we'd consider being a part of their monthly support.  We love what they're doing and catching up with our friend, and promised to pray about whether God would lead us to start supporting them.

Yesterday Gabe and I sat down for our weekly "detail day" prayer time - a time when we try to just make a space to listen to God together about whatever he wants to talk about, but specifically anything we've put on our list of things we need to hear God about for direction.

When we got to asking about supporting this family, I was curious to see what God would say.

We set aside a percentage of every dollar we receive to go into an account we've labeled our "Missionary Support Fund."  We use that money to support missionaries each month - some of whom we've been in relationship with for years.  It's always been awesome to see how God provides what we need and, in turn, for others through that fund.

Currently, we spend every cent of what we put in to that fund each month, plus a little bit more fulfilling our commitments of support.  From a logical standpoint, it would seem like we don't have the money to take on another missionary, but Gabe and I wanted to make sure we were hearing God on that issue and not making a decision based on our own logic.

So, we prayed.

Gabe felt like the Lord impressed on him the verse in Isaiah (chapter 54) about the barren woman enlarging her tent pegs - basically, before something has come to pass, acting in obedience to what God has told you.

I felt like the Lord gave me a verse from Joshua 18 about casting lots for answers.

We shared back with each other about what we felt God was saying and decided we'd flip a coin for confirmation, but we were pretty sure God was leading us to start supporting this family.  So we grabbed a gold coin like the one pictured above, and decided heads was a yes, tails was a no, and we flipped it:

Heads.

So then we prayed about how much to support them each month (one of the things we've learned about hearing God and following his direction is to definitely pray about the details and not just run ahead with our own opinions!).  I felt like God gave me a certain number in USD.  Gabe also got a number, but he felt like it was in NZD.  We plugged the amount in NZD into our handy google converter, and the equivalent in USD was the same as the amount in NZD.

I fired off an email letting the family know we would start supporting them for the amount we felt God specified.

And then I told Gabe, "I guess we need to pray to ask God for more money so we can fulfill this support each month!"  So while I was getting porridge for Mara and Gabe was cleaning up breakfast prep, I just simply said aloud, "OK, Father - can you give us more money so we can give more away?"

I checked my email a few minutes later, and last Friday I'd had an email come in from our friend Carrie - currently one of our monthly supporters - that I'd briefly seen was in the inbox, but I hadn't taken time to look at it in detail.  When I opened it up and read through it, she was writing to ask for information on how she could submit our ministry work to the company she works for to see if she could get her monthly gift matched by her company.  Whoa!  That's cool!!

I told Gabe and we were both encouraged that God was, indeed, speaking to us when we'd prayed and that he was going to take care of the details.

Then this morning, I opened up my FB messenger app and I had received a message from a student that was a part of our DTS a few months ago who, himself, has been doing missions work, and he asked if we had a PayPal account because he'd like to send us a financial gift.

WHOA!!! That's COOL!!

I told Gabe and we were even MORE encouraged!!

Sometimes I have moments of looking at myself and our life, almost from a distance or an alternative perspective, and I think, "Are we crazy?  Like, this is really an odd way of living life, making decisions, and just being.  I mean, this is not a normal way of life - our priorities, our finances, our decisions about where we live, what we live without, everything is just a little bit odd."

But then I have these kinds of moments - where Gabe and I together get to experience and interact with the Creator of the Universe who loves us and cares for us and is more conscientious of detail-management and working behind the scenes than I could ever be, and I'm just so, so thankful that our life - the one life we get to spend - is laced with these kinds of stories and adventures.

The Pace of the Children

Today I went on a walk with Mara.  While Mara and I were out wandering, I was reminded of a phrase from Genesis that someone or something pointed out to me a few months ago.  When Jacob and Esau finally meet after Jacob has returned from living with Laban, Esau says in Genesis 33:12, "Let us be on our way; I'll accompany you."

Jacob politely declines this offer by reminding Esau of the needs of his flocks of animals and his children - the nursing cows and ewes with their young can't go at the pace of 400 men of battle, and neither can his children.  Jacob says, "Let my lord go on ahead of his servant, while I move along slowly at the pace of the flocks and herds before me, and at the pace of the children."

I used to walk quickly - it was sometimes a point of contention in my marriage when Gabe and I would decide to go for a walk, and Gabe would want to go for a leisurely stroll while I was anticipating an exercise walk (we learned we had to define what type of walk we were inviting the other person to go on with us).

A funny thing happened when our child became a toddler that likes to express her independence through walk on her own two feet, though: I don't often choose the pace of my walking.  Now my pace (typically) caters to my child.  Sometimes this is fast - as we know, toddlers can move quickly! - but more often, it is much, much, much slower than I would naturally prefer, with a lot of stops and starts.  Exercise walking? Not any more! We do the toddler stroll - her legs are about 1/3 my length, so we cover 1/3 the ground at about 1/3 the pace I would normally cover!

Today Mara went up and down the same flight of stairs about four times so she could hold the railing and jump off the last step.  While we were exploring a field, she stopped to squat down and pick daisies - multiple times.  She offered each one to me to hold, and I had dozens of them in my hand before we climbed the hill out of the field.  When we were walking past the playground, she wanted to stop and observe all the different equipment that was available and point at them and comment to me about them.  And going around a flowerbed with roses without delaying for 20 minutes - and likely picking the rose bushes bare - required some significant coaxing ("Come on, Mara - let's see if we can find a trampoline!").

I've learned I can respond to this new pace in life in one of two ways: 

I can be irritated and cajole, demand, shame, get frustrated, or just pick up and carry a toddler (sometimes kicking and screaming) at my preferred, rapid pace; or I can slow down and choose to enjoy the process.  

Today - with that phrase from Genesis rolling over in my mind and the sweet blessing of nothing pressing on my mental agenda for the afternoon - I admired the vibrant colors of the carpet of mini daisies, the white and yellow flowers against the backdrop of a field of green, while we walked.  I was amazed at the fact that my little girl is brave enough to jump (and get air!) off not just the bottom step of a flight of stairs, but the bottom two steps!  I looked into Mara's earnest little brown eyes as she handed me a handful of rose petals plucked from a wilting rose bush and saw the shine of pride and pleasure as I thanked her sincerely for her fragrant offering to me.  I noticed how tall she's getting, and yet how small she still is, how her hair is long enough to curl on her head and glow golden in the sunlight, how her little knees have dimples on them (she has sturdy legs - like her mother always has had!), and how cute her white shoes are strapped onto the wrong feet, because she got her shoes on herself.  

I enjoyed chatting with her, observing her interact with the world around her and learning about how she interprets it and what she finds interesting, and taking time to mentally catalogue and treasure this moments and images.

Because here's what I'm thinking: maybe if I proceed through life at the pace of my child, although the time still goes quickly and these moments feel so fleeting at the end of the day as I watch her sleep peacefully in her crib and as I look back at her rapid growth and development in my phone's photos, at least I won't reflect back on these days with her with regret that I was rushing.  I'll look back on these days, these weeks, these years knowing that I didn't do everything correctly, but I did try to be tender with my little girl, I didn't push her too fast, and I fulfilled (at least in part) my responsibility to take care of her.

As Jacob models, it's Biblical to adjust your pace in life to your child's pace in order to nurture them!  And as Mara says to me, "I go wis Mama. I want to be wis Mama," Lord, help me remember that it is truly a privilege to walk in step with this sweet blessing in my life - no matter how many stops and starts we make in on the journey, because that's a reflection of how you travel with me!